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Toby Turner – Literal X-Men: Days Of Future Past Trailer

It’s no longer the 20th century…
Comic flip. Marvel shrink. Fade.
No X-Man’s ever lost a staring contest…
Till him.
Then no one ever blinked again.
They’re dedicated.

When they pledged their lives
To unblinking eyes,
They did not realize
They’d have to cry to moisturize.

You failed them once, Xavier.
Don’t let you eyelids waver.
Mansion, door, vision blurred,
Spinny circle, darkness.

Take a moment to stop and think
How hard it is not to blink,
Especially when your name is “Blink”.
Don’t blink, Blink!
The camera lens blinks, just to rub it in,
Then does it again.
What a perfect camera blinking simulation.

From Bryan Singer,
The director of the shhsfhht

(Uh… Toby? Toby?)

Yeah, I’m here,
There were too many words to sing.
Blue light, still no blink.

(I don’t see why we can’t blink.)

If you blink, he’ll shoot you.
She’s blue in both color and mood.

(I once had hair like you do.)

Prove it.
Flashback to a hairier day,
When he dusted away,
And he touched to convey telepathically.
Back to present day,
Half his face in the shade.

(You said sleep with one eye open.)
(It’s just an expression, dude.)

Sideburn upkeep, gazebo burn down.
Floating half-collar pop
Makes the people go crazy –
Especially the ladies.
Someone get the President
To end this trend.

Then extreme exfoliation trend
Sweeps the nation,
Mental glass explosion trend,
In slow-motion trend.
Who’s starting these trends?

Staring contest wages on.
SEX CHANGE on a lawn.
Can’t stare when you’re gone…
Someone’s got a short temper
NOT HIM – the blue guy.

Halle Berry, static-cling.
Naked, blue break-dancing.
Under table slide.
Fake throw. Angry side.
Your turn for acupuncture.
Don’t let her get to the past-half-collar-popped guy,
Or the trend could transcend time…
And a darkness would fall.

(Well, you could use Rogaine.)

X-Men Days of Future Past. Past. Past.

Updated: 31 January 2018 — 23:37

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